A brief history of ladies underwear (and why it’s the worst!)

It’s a brave woman who lives her life eternally sans knickers (or panties for you Americans) but until very recently it was the norm.

Though men throughout history wore underwear (Charles ll was a fan of a silken boxer short FYI) it was considered improper for a lady to have anything between her legs.

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Tin Man can’t even face the idea of something between a woman legs, that is the level of scandal.

The only ladies who dared buck this trend were scandalously rich Italian women in the sixteenth century. But sadly not everyone in history was richer than Midas yet poor in morals; so medieval ladies wore one long under dress (sexy) which later evolved into slips and petticoats.

By the early Victorian era we start to see ‘drawers’ being worn by women. Queen Victoria was a fan and as with any regal fashion, it soon became synonymous with class…which meant soon enough, everyone was clammering for a pair of drawers.

Within one century drawers went through a full style evolution. From a fashion irregularity to the norm.

They went from functional to frilly, sexed up and colourful.drawers

By 1901 only the poorest women weren’t sporting drawers every day.

But the evolution didn’t stop there, within the next 20 years drawer hemlines went up and thus the knickers we know today was born!

In fact by the 1940s what was once a fashion novelty was now deemed so essential that during WW2 women opted for wearing home knitted knickers rather than going commando!

Stockings

Much like knickers, men sported this underwear trend way before women. Long socks were worn by Vikings, Celtics and Saxons as a way to combat chilly weather and prevent chafing from shoes (believe me, if you think your new shoes pinch, they haven’t got shit on medieval footwear!)

But it wasn’t all practicality, long almost stomach high stockings were a sign of fashion and nobility for men at Tudor Court. One lover of the stocking was Henry Vlll, who  was known to proudly comment on the attractiveness of his calves

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Those calves…I can hardly contain myself!

In this era women also wore stockings, but theirs stopped at the knee.

Elizabeth l was a massive fan of silk stockings worn in as many bright colours as possible! People who weren’t Queen obvs couldn’t afford this fancy expensive dyed silk goodness, so most just made do with plain old wool stockings.

Now, I’ll be blunt, stockings wise things stay pretty same-ey for the next few centuries…so let’s fast forward to the 1930s!

By this era hemlines in general were MUCH higher. And with their legs now on show and open to the elements, women needed a strong stocking more than ever.

Sadly they had silk stockings which:

A) didn’t stretch

B) laddered like a mo-fo

But then some beautiful bastard invented nylons

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This bastard in fact, meet Wallace Carothers, inventor of Nylon, stealer of hearts

Within 2 days of hitting New York department stores in 1940, Nylons had completely sold out.

This phenomenon wasn’t limited to NYC, with women across America snapping up the incredible new invention. Finally, women were able to strut their stuff without fear of ladders!

And then Pearl Harbour happened…

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God damn Pearl Harbour ruining everyones fun

Thanks to the war, nylons were rationed in 1942, with the material only to be used to help the US’s defense.

Women resorted to staining their legs for the illusion of stockings, with canny beauty brands selling liquid stockings (AKA shit fake tan)

When the war was over in 1945, the first thought in women’s minds was celebration, quickly followed by:

‘oh my god I needs to get me some nylons!’

Almost immediately Nylon riots spread across America, as women stormed department stores in the name of underwear.

In Pittsburgh over 40,000 people descended upon one store, desperate to get their hands on 1 of just 13,000 nylons.

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Ok so we have the basics down, knickers and tights – but now we need to get us some body!

But how does one achieve that hourglass shape that history has persisted in telling us is IT. Well first you go in and then you go…out

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Like way out – From Punch Magazine, 1856-

Crinolines 

We’ve previously talked about crinolines on this blog so I’ll be brief, here’s all you need to know:

Crinolines were a fashion staple in the 1800s, beloved for their ability to create an OTT hourglass shape.

sadly, there was one big downside, you see:

Crinolines hate you and want you to die.

Seriously, no other underwear has a thirst for blood quite like these voluminous contraptions of death.

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See! It’s trying to eat her!!!

In 1864 one London doctor estimated that 2500 women had died as a direct result of wearing crinolines. You see the garment had a habit of catching onto things; after all it was bloody enormous. Sadly the thing crinolines mainly caught onto was fire.

That’s right, crinolines led to thousands of women being burned alive in their dresses.

But the danger didn’t stop there – as said earlier – crinolines were out for blood!

There are accounts of women’s crinolines getting caught on moving carts and carriages, resulting in the unfortunate lady being pulled down the street after it.

I’ll leave you with this: one summers day in Herefordshire one lady was out enjoying the sun.

When she went to sit on the grass, part of her crinolines steel supports snapped – sending a jagged piece of metal into a very very uncomfortable place and inflicting severe internal injuries.

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Nothing is EVER worth this 

Corsets

Crinolines weren’t the only underthings causing grievous bodily harm, corsets were also more than happy to fuck women’s bodies up, both internally and externally!

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You know she is in so much pain

The great great great grandmother of the corset we know today is the cote; a tightly laced bodice worn by medieval women to acquire an hourglass silhouette (gotta get them child birthing hips!)

Around the 16th century people start using stiffening materials like wood, whalebone and steel to create a much more tighter waist than would be possible with just lacing; and thus the corset is born!!

The corsets design was not just to create a waspish waist, but also to lift the boobs, emphasis the hips and create a rod straight posture.

For the next few centuries women would be squidged, pulled and generally forced by any means into tighter and tighter corsets. With the Victorians desperate to make the average 28 inch waist, a frankly terrifying 16 inches.

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Prince is not here for your mangled ribs

It’s the Victorian corset that remains the most iconic. In this era the empire waists of earlier periods were dropped and with more emphasis now on the natural waistline the corset really came into its organ crushing stride.

On that note, lets do some myth busting :

Corsets will not kill you.

I know, they should. Corsets literally squeeze your organs and shuffles them about…but it turns out that bodies are pretty hardy and the typical tightly laced corsets worn by Victorian women were not lethal. Uncomfy? Yes. Deadly? No.

That’s not to say I’m endorsing wearing something that mangles your skeleton, tosses your organs around and is generally the most uncomfortable thing ever. I’m just saying that it wont kill you. Which is good, because everyone in Victorian England wore corsets, even pregnancy couldn’t stop the corset! pregnancy corset.jpg

The Edwardian era sought to rectify some of corsetry’s comfort issues with the invention on the S bend corset (because everyone wants to wear an s bend…)

The S bend was designed to lessen the pressures on the stomach, whilst still nipping in the waist, pushing the boobs and giving a nice posture.

This was the result:

The New Figure!
Not to be a bitch but…hahahaha no

Soon Corsets were packed full of extra enhancements to help women achieve the monumental feats that Edwardian fashion demanded from their bodies.

My personal favourite of these is the lemon cup, sort of a mix between chicken fillets and a push up bra; these small cotton cups were full of horse hair with a coiled spring attached to whalebone hidden inside. When all these elements combined the wearers breasts were buoyantly pushed up and out.

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Arguably when you’re attaching springs to your tits, things have gone too far.

Edwardian fashion agreed. As designs that worked with the bodies natural curves came in, corsets starting to go out. Making room for underwear that allowed women to actually do shit, like dance, walk and move without creaking.

This was really interesting! Where can I find out more? I’d suggest checking out the V&A’s book Undressed, A History of Underwear. It’s a detailed look at their recent exhibition on underwear and contains highlights from that collection, plus it’s only a tenner, so winner all round.

What it means to dress like a woman

Women’s clothing is currently somewhat of a hot button issue thanks to Presidents Trumps suggestion that his female staffers ensure that when they attend work they ‘dress like a woman’

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Of course this is far from the first time the way women dress has been the topic of public debate and it won’t be the last. Discussing and dissecting women’s clothing is something of a historic tradition, with many aspects of what it is to dress like a women having remained the same for centuries

Beauty is pain

To be beautiful is to be in pain, a fact anybody who has ever worn heels for more than 3 hours can attest to (time to bust out the gel heel pads every woman in Trumps office!) This is of course nothing new, from bruise inducing heavy fabrics to mantuas that required hinges to allow for the wearer to get into and out of carriages (and don’t even start on managing doors!)

Being really bloody uncomfortable goes part in parcel with being on trend. Of course these trends have also proved deadly. Yes the thing that makes you beautiful can also be a weapon. Corsets of course are famed for their organ mangling powers but crinolines were also a very lethal culprit.

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so so so very deadly

Unsuspecting wearers would catch themselves on a candle and the whole crinoline would go up in flames. To make matters worse the crinolines design prevented the victim from putting the fire out themselves and any crinoline clad bystanders were also hampered down by their large skirts and rendered powerless to help- all they could do would be to watch their friend burn alive within their dress.  In 1864 one Dr Lancaster reported a supposed 2,500 people in London alone suffered this fiery end. This seems a little steep, still, I can’t think of a worse fate but please feel free to put answers on a postcard- or the comments…whatever.

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This actually happened in 1861 in Philadelphia, 9 ballerinas died. Crinoline fires, argubaly worse than chip pan fires

You are what you wear 

When you read any book about the wives of Henry Vlll you will quickly realise the wives hoods are an indicator of who they are as people. Anne Boleyn with her rule breaking and saucy French hood, Jane Seymour trying to appease with her plain and ungainly English hood etc etc etc. The clothes are packaged as an integral part of these women’s core identity.

Even executions of women in this period turn into a (blood soaked) runway. Catherine Howard newly conservative but still glamorous in dark velvet, Lady Jane Grey pious in black and Mary Queen of Scots working rebellious martyr chic in crimson.  What you wear is who you are, even if that could not be further from the truth.

Margaret Cavendish, forerunner of Science Fiction, poet and one of the first philosophers to really dive into if the gender divide was maligned by her peers. She was seen as a bimbo.

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Cavendish loved fashion and dressed vividly and eccentricly. Samuel Pepys described her as ‘conceited and ridiculous’ and her ‘dress so antic’. One of the greatest minds of her time overlooked, because her dress was a bit out there. But don’t worry, Pepys also describes her as a ‘good comely woman’ so everything’s fine really.

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The sex is in the heel

If you are a woman then at some point you will have been told that you are dressing too provocatively (you bitch) or not provocatively enough (you bitch). Yes the debate on putting it away vs putting it out there is long and aged and something everyone apparently has some kind of stake in.

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What is permitted for women to wear is somewhat cyclical. There is fine line between what is seen as ‘attractive’ and ‘slutty’ but it is a line that keeps on fucking running all over the pitch.

For example, if you were a woman in the court of Charles ll then your neckline would be low to the extent that nipple paint would be a thing in your life – go and find any portrait of a bright young thing of this court and you will find an image of a woman barely containing her breasts (if they arnt just out and roaming free) it seems like the birth place of liberal love for the raw female form, free the nipple and all that…but for the love of christ don’t show an ankle, because a naked breast was one thing but a naked ankle was seen as scandal itself.

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Mistress of Charles ll, Hortense Mancini

Sexual fetishization was also ripe in Victorian England. What we now think of as the a bastion of sexual repression was actually incredibly sex obsessed (seriously Victorians LOVED their porn). But like today sexuality was a nuanced minefield.

Take our old friend the corset, it was seen as key to maintaining the ideal female figure- a waspish waist, curvy hips and breasts. A narrative was created around this fashion- it became a sign that you were a someone, feminine, rich, desirable, demure and sophisticated all at once. Yet at the same time the corset became a symbol of loose morals- it pushed up the cleavage and alluded to the hips and vagina.

Wear it…but don’t go too far. It is much the same as a short skirt – one thing on a Jennifer Lawrence type (elegant, fashionable and daring yet somehow sophisticated) and another entirely on a reality TV star (tacky, most likely taken as an up skirt shot when entering a club).

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To dress like a woman is a myth and one far more complicated than I have been able to touch on in this (another time perhaps). It is an ever changing goal post built on cultural expectations and outdated stereotypes. It exists…it clearly very much still exists (hey again Mr President!) but it doesn’t have to be something we adhere to. We can look at history and notice the rule breakers, the women that created their own fashions and lived how they choose – what I’m saying is, don’t feel like you have to wear heels and a pencil skirt to the office because someone berk in a shit wig tells you too.

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