The Horrifying History of Hair Dye

Hair dye is by no means a new invention. In fact since early recorded history, people (particularly women) have been transforming their locks, just not in a way we – or anyone with even an ounce of sanity – would guess!

Rome: DIY Bleach and Horror  

In early Rome, it wasn’t uncommon for ladies to attempt to colour greying hair with a root touch up, because apparently women aging has never been ok.

Anyway for this grey be gone, a concuction of boiled walnut shells, ashes and, er, earthworms, would be ground together to form a lovely dark paste.

But it wasn’t just dark haired ladies getting in on the gross dying action, blondes were also having fun (groan)

blonde hair flip.gif
Trust me, you’re not gonna wanna touch that hair when you find out how the Romans dyed it.

In this era, blonde hair was used to mark sex workers.

This was done either by using blonde wigs (taken from Germanic folk the Romans had handily invaded) OR by dying the hair.

Now if you thought earthworms were bad, then you’re going to want to strap in for the next bit, because all kinds of no.

To achieve blonde hair, a woman’s hair was slathered with anything from ashes to pigeon shit and then pissed on.

I know. I’m sorry.

BUT, this grimness does actually have some science behind it! See pee contains ammonia which acts as a bleach, which in turn, helps dye hair blonde.

Isn’t history the best?!? 

no gif.gif
I’m sorry…it only gets worse from here

Elizabethan Pain and Price-tags 

Elizabeth I bought lip liner to the world, as well as using lead to lighten your skin (you win some you lose some) but it wasn’t just makeup that Lizzy was pioneering; she was also waaay ahead in the hair game!

A queen of iconic hair, it’s perhaps unsurprising that a lot of women in her court wanted in on Lizzys legendary locks.

And so ladies would pluck back their hairlines to achieve that trademark high Elizabethan forehead (ouch!)

Elizabeth 1
But just look at that forehead, totes worth it

Colouring was also a big thing, with red and blonde both the beauty ideals of the day.

 

Blonde was achieved with a seriously expensive mix of cumin seeds, saffron, oil and celadine, effectively pricing anyone but noble borns from the faux blonde hair racket.

Still, you can’t knock a good false blonde down and women once again resorted to pissing on their heads to bleach the fuck out of their hair.

britney crying gif
I’m sorry blondes, I promise this is probably the last mention of pee bleach.

Luckily, going red was a much nicer process.

Elizabethan ladies opted for henna, a method that is still really popular today.

Note: I’ve been dying my hair red for over a decade; the success rate of a decent colour using henna is like 0.0001%, so don’t be trying no Elizabethan dye jobs at Home.

The 1600s: It get’s better. I guess… 

In 1602, Sir Hugh Platt published, Delightes for Ladies; a handy guide of hints, tips and recipes for women. Hugh even included some hair care know how that didn’t suggest dead insects or piss as hair dye ingredients!

applause gif
awwww, look how happy the blondes are!

But, don’t applaud just yet! 

 

Yeah. Turns out Hugh reeeally didn’t like women having hair; suggesting using sulphuric acid to dye their locks a fetching blonde.

Don’t worry though, Hugh makes it clear you shouldn’t touch the acid, just rub it all over your scalp. 👍

Thankfully by the end of the 1600s, wigs took over from highly dangerous chemicals.

These wigs not only allowed women to turn thier hair into towering pieces of ornate artwork, but also play with colour.

Marie Antoinette was a huge fan of pastels, with her wig collection looking a lot like a very hairy sweet shop!

Marie Antoinette, pink hair gif
Pastel hair and a flower crown!! Girls basically ready for Coachella

Sadly all pastel haired dreams must come to an end and the French Revolution did away with the trend for spectacular coloured wigs.

In its place was the Titus.

A groundbreaking short hair cut that both acted as a protest to the French Revolution and meant women didn’t have to spend hours piling on pounds of hair.

But sadly the Titus was all about looking natural, meaning hair dye was out…

Pierre-Narcisse Guerin- Portrait of a Young Girl (1812).jpg
Damn you the Titus’s simplistic natural beauty!!!

But then in 1856: Everything changed

A teenage science nerd called William Perkin was trying to synthesise quinine (a medicine now used to fight maleria) to impress his teacher. Because. Nerd.

Sadly, William totally failed.

BUT he did accidentally create a purple shade, which he dubbed Mauvine.

This was the first synthetic dye!

Mauvine went on to help medical research, build up the textile industry, create new types of food manufacturing and tons more!

But let’s be real, the real success here was opening up hair to a whole rainbow of chemical colours!

By the 1920s women were all over chemical hair dyes!

Sure you left the salon with a burning scalp, but your hair was really pretty, so fair trade right?

OBVIOUSLY NO

Messing around chemicals is a dangerous game. Then putting that mess on your head is basically asking to be maimed.

Nobody is a better testimont to this than Hollywood star, Jean Harlow

Jean Harlow.gif
Hair so good, it doesn’t even move

Jean Harlow’s nickname was, The Platinum Blonde.

This meant, that as well as acting, being the blondest blonde in Hollywood was basically Jeans number 1 priority.

But this was no easy feat. Nobody was naturally that blonde.

So Jean went to extreme lengths to reach her famed platinum hue.

According to Alfred Pagano, Jeans hairdresser:

“We used peroxide, ammonia, Clorox, and Lux flakes! Can you believe that?”

No Alfred I can’t believe that!

Mainly because mixing literal household bleach (Clorox) and ammonia creates a highly noxious gas which can ultimately lead to kidney failure.

Jeans hair was dyed using this deadly deadly mess ONCE A WEEK FOR YEARS.

nooooo gif.gif

How is that shit even legal???!!!???

Thousands upon thousands of women attempted DIY versions of Jeans famous platinum dye recipe, with sales of bleach and ammonia sky rocketing

Thankfully the trend was short lived.

Jeans hair all fell out, which meant she stopped dying it and went to wigs.

But the deadly dyes effects remained.

Jean died of kidney failure aged 26. It was a slow and painful death: almost certainly down to her famed hair dye recipe.

Jean Harlow, still
Jean Harlow: Literally killed by marketing

Mercifully, Jean was one of hair dyes last casualties.

By the 1950s mainstream brands like L’Oréal were selling hair dye that dyed hair blonde by lightening, rather than replying on bleach, or you know…piss.

The following decades were defined by hair colour, from the bright colours of the 1980s to the highlights of the 1990s and early 00s (oh hey ‘The Rachel’!)

Now it’s estimated around 70% of women dye their hair , which is pretty unsurprising when you release what a historic love affair we’ve had with colour (and that we know longer need pee to be on trend!)

This was interesting, where can I find out more? Fashions in Hair, the first 5000 years, by Richard Colson is a cracking book. But its retail price is mighty expensive, so best bet for that one is checking out your local library!

Another great (and affordable…) read is Face Paint, The Story of Make Up, by Louise Eldridge, which looks at historic beauty trends.

 

Trying Lipsticks through history

For the next 4 days I’m going to try out lipsticks from history. From The 1300s to the 1940’s, I’ll be testing them all. On my lips…

wont end well
Via giphy

I’ll admit to being something of a lipstick junkie, to the extent I have a small chest of drawers to hold all my lip products (yes it’s an addiction, but it’s not meth-so back off!) But it’s not just me that’s obsessed with lipstick; It’s a trend that’s endured throughout history.

lipstick
Via giphy

Lipstick itself dates back to Queen Schub-ad or Puabi of Ur (if you can pronounce that then you get a gold star!) who was a Sumerian ruler from around 2500 B.C.

This first lipstick was more of a lip stain and was made from pretty much anything as long as it was highly pigmented and could be smeared on your lips. Popular ingredients included lead (this will be a recurring theme), fish scales, crushed rocks and dung.

Now I will do a lot of things for history, but putting lead and literal shit on my face is not one of them. So let’s call Egyptian lippy a write off and move onto the next stage in our tour of historic lippery:

The Middle Ages

Throughout the middle ages several European countries including France and Spain embraced rouge and lip paint; however England was having none of this – and of course by England, I mean the English church.

The church were not fans of make up on women, in fact women who wore makeup were considered ‘reincarnations of Satan’ which seems a tad strong.

But there were no actual laws banning makeup, which resulted in a very fine balancing act and the popular look of  ‘makeup that wont piss of your priest’. So slightly tinted lips-ok. Full on red lips – your going straight to hell young lady.

One of the most popular methods to get those slightly tinted but not too tinted lips was crushing up flowers petals.Crushed flowers in progress

There’s something weirdly romantic about the idea of flowers as lip tint. It feels very Shakespearean, very feminine, very ‘oh don’t mind me just off to go skip through this meadow wearing a daisy crown’

If you can’t tell, I was excited to try this out.

Making the flower lip stain was really easy, all I did was get some flowers (I got tulips, because for some reason none of the shops near me sold anything but them and because tulips..two lips…get it) and then ground them up and popped them onto my lips.

The result:

Crushed Flowers

Now if you are wondering, where the fuck is the flower stain? You are not alone.

If I am being generous I’ll say that it maybe stained my lips a bit. But let’s be honest – its basically one shade up from the shade your lips should probably be if you’re not dying.

Which admittedly in the Middle Ages is a win.

Would I try this again? No. The colour payoff is not worth the taste of ground flowers on your lips (which is not nice FYI); get a tinted lip balm and leave this lipstick in the dark ages where it belongs.

I give this 0.5/5.

Elizabethan 

By the Elizabethan period English people were onboard the lipstick bandwagon; led by Elizabeth l who loved a bit of lippy.

Elizabeth l
Red lip on point

Now when I say loved, I mean LOVED. Elizabeth pioneered the first known lip liner (made of red dye and plaster of paris) and was never without a slick of red lipstick.

She actually believed it to have healing powers and it is said that when she died she had lipstick an inch thick embedded onto her lips.

This is something I can get behind. As someone who lives for a matte lip, the idea of lip products burrowing into every lip crevice is neither new nor scary. If anything I was pretty pumped to try out Liz’s own lip recipe

Lets do this!.gif
via giphy

Elizabeth I used cochineal, gum arabic, egg whites and vermillion for her statement lip.

For those not up on their deadly beauty ingredients, Vermillion is a red pigment obtained from mercury sulphide – basically its toxic as F and I won’t be putting it on my face.

To make up for this, I used a bit more cochineal than the original recipe would have used (cochineal is a powdered insect used in most red dyes; including food dye, yum!).

So I mixed up my cochineal, gum Arabic and egg whites until I got a bright red lip…mousse…thing.

With that weird mess prepared I moved onto the lip liner, becuase as any self respecting lipstick addict will tell you, liner is the key to a flawless red lip.

I mixed some red dye (a mix of cochineal and beetroot) with plaster of Paris and once it had turned into a liquid… I realised I didn’t know what to do next.

prince.gif
Yup totally nailed it. via giphy

Yeeeah, I hadn’t really thought the lip liner through… but luckily the internet exists! Sadly I couldn’t find any tutorials on making plaster of paris lip pencils.

But fortunately I am a women of many skills, so I macgyvered a plaster of Paris mold using a straw and some tin foil.

straw
Ta Da!! And my art teacher said I had no artistic talent, pffft!

Unfortunately after the lip liner had set I tried to remove it and it immediately broke into roughly 5000 pieces.

The finished product! 

Elizabethan red in progress
I’m optimistically calling the shards of liner, ‘travel sized’

How did it apply?

I applied the lip liner first and it immediately tore the fuckity out my lips.

Don’t use plaster of Paris as a lip liner guys, just don’t. It didn’t even leave a colour, just pain.

After that ordeal I applied the lipstick/mousse.

The result: 

Elizabethan Red
Defined lines for daaaaaays

Yeah….It looks like I’ve been punched in the mouth.

Also, no I didn’t have a fit whilst applying this, it just spreads out like that. It might be because of the egg white – which FYI tightens the bejesus out of the skin around your mouth! That’s why my lips are clamped shut in that picture-I couldn’t move them without cracking the skin of my lips (niiiiiice)

On the upside it’s a good red hue, I bet if you used vermillion it would be stunning and only slightly toxic!

Would you use this again?

Not if you paid me! If beauty is pain, this is straight up bullshit.

I give this -2/5 (yup we’re two in and already on negatives!)

Let’s move on…

17th century

After the clusterfuck that was Elizabethan lipstick I’ve moved across the pond to America for my next foray into historic lipstick.

America had a somewhat tempistoous relationship with lipstick during this period. In Pennsylvania it was actually legal to divorce your wife if she had worn lipstick during your courtship, was this was seen as conning a man into marriage.

Yet Americas first First Lady loved lipstick. Martha Washington even had her own unique recipe for the lippy she wore everyday. So naturally I had to check it out.

Portrait of First Lady Martha Washington
You can’t really see but Martha’s totally rocking some ‘my lips but better’ lippy.

Martha’s recipe consisted of: lard, almond oil, raisins, sugar, balsam, Alkanet root and spermaceti.

Spermaceti is a waxy substance found inside a sperm whales head, so for obvious reasons (e.g the law and ethics) I won’t be including this.

So, sans whale head goo, let’s make this lipstick!

I first had to prep the alkanet root, which is a root which naturally produces both red and purple pigments. To get the red dye I had to steep the root in vodka and water for a week. That my friends is dedication.

After this I mixed in all the other ingredients and then, as Martha would have done, ground the shit out of it.

The finished product

Martha Washington in progress
Mmmm, cannot wait to get this on my lips

It looked super gross, and it smelled a lot like really wet and musky bark. But at least it had a colour and didn’t contain plaster of paris or egg whites, so my lips were hopefully safe!

The result Martha Washington Stylee

Colour wise there isn’t a huge payoff, but there is a clear red tint in there. Admittedly not much, but this does work as a red tint for people scared of red lips. Which makes sense. For a statement lip in a climate where half your country hates makeup, I think this is about as bold as Martha could go.

The main issue was the grease.

Now shocker…lard is greasy, but lard mixed with oil and baslm is a whole other level of greasy. The grease did make my lips shiny (win) but it also made them incredibly heavy and about 10 mins in some of the lipstick glooped onto my shirt. That’s just not what you want.

Would you use this again? 

Well first, let me share a fun fact: You may have noticed that my skin in the above image is not filtered, whilst the other images are – that is because I tried this historic lipstick out first and the lard and oil immediately broke me out to a point where I couldn’t show my skin to the internet. So to answer the question, no, no I would not use this again.

I give this 1/5 

 

The Blitz

At the start of World War Two British women were urged to keep up appearances and ensure they maintained a glamorous look at all times.

Hitler was not a fan of makeup (or anything fun) so the allies saw brightly made up women as ‘good for the morale of the nation’.

This of course meant lashings of  lipstick.

Makeup brands happily played into this, releasing fun compacts in the shape of military paraphernalia and and lipstick packaged in patriotic shades.

America powder compacts in the shape of military hats
Look how cool!!!!!!

But then rationing hit cosmetics like it did everything else. Yet the expectation for women to retain high make up standards remained. Now one tube of lippy needed to last!

So women came up with ingenious ways to get colourd lips when they were between tubes of the good stuff. One such method was rubbing beetroot directly onto the lips for a wartime friendly lip stain.

Beetroot raw
Meet nature’s answer to MAC

Now, I was quietly confident about this. After doing a quick Pinterest search, I found tons of women who all swore by beetroot lip stains and had the cherry lips to prove it.

Admittedly these women all also used other ingredients (e.g. coconut oil) and as this isn’t strictly 1940’s, I’d just be rocking raw beetroot- but still Pinterest wouldn’t lie to me…..right?

It turns out that Pinterest is a filthy liar.

boo.gif
I TRUSTED YOU!!! 

Ok, fine. I might be being a tad harsh. It’s been a tough few days.

Did it stain my lips? Yes. But not in the way I was expecting it too. I was expecting a cherry pop pout and what I got was a pinky hue, which was nice… but lets be honest; thus colour is not worth the many many minutes of beetroot based effort I put in. Beetroot

The stain does last all day, which for a Land Girl on the go is ideal; no touch ups required. And the end product doesn’t look out of place with lip stains you can buy today, win!

However– it is pretty drying (not egg white drying, but still) so like the women of the 40’s you do want to keep some Vaseline on you for moisture and shine.

Would I use this again? 

It takes a while to get the colour pay off that picture shows and after about a minute of rubbing a raw beetroot onto your lips you do start to question your life choices. Not to the level of ‘why I am rubbing lard and gum arabic onto my lips’…but an existential crisis none the less.

I give this 3/5 Personally, a mini breakdown everyday is a price too high for slightly stained lips. But if you are crazy mentally strong or on rations this does the job. 

So thats the historic lipstick testing done, what did I learn?

  1. Elizabethan lipstick doesn’t beat MAC. 
  2. Plaster of Paris is evil incarnate 
  3. Egg white is the devils own creation 
  4. Petals do fuck all 
  5. Lard does actually give you spots
  6. It turns out progress happens for a reason and historic make up sucks.

    bye!
    Now I’m off to drink wine and forget this ordeal ever happened!

This was really interesting, where can I find out more? I’d suggest checking out this paper on the history of lipsticks in Western Seats of Power, it’s also a Harvard paper, so you can read it and feel all fancy and intellectual.

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