The true story of Anna May Wong

If (like me) you’ve been binging Netflix’s new show, Hollywood, then you’ll have met Anna May Wong. The show introduces us to her as the ‘great ghost’. An early victim of ‘yellow face’ she lives alone in her lush complex, waiting for a studio call that will never come. But, Hollywood is an alternative look at history. So without to many spoilers, there is a happy ending for this Anna.

But real Anna? She didn’t get a cut print sunny ending and her story that Hollywood shows – well it’s not even half of it.  Because although Hollywood does an amazing job of giving the broad strokes of who Anna May Wong was, it also takes away a lot of her autonomy and grit. This is a woman who wasn’t only a glamorous film icon turned walking lesson in racisim, but a hero whose story should be shouted about.

So, lets chat the real Anna May Wong.   

Oh and prepare to become OBSSESED

Born Wong Liu Tsong (黄柳霜) in January 1905, in LA. She had the pretty standard ‘early life’ narrative for a budding starlet. One of seven kids to a pair of hardworking parents, the family lived above her dad’s laundry business, where she and her siblings were all expected to work when they weren’t at school. But a life of laundry wasn’t what she dreamed of.

As a kid she’d fallen in love with movies and decided she wanted to be an actress. By 11 she’d picked out a stage name, Anna May Wong, and was cutting class to either hang out on location shoots in China Town or spend her lunch money on Nickelodeon Movie Theatres.  Going home afterwards to practice the scenes she’d just seen in the mirror for hours on end.

So far, so standard. Anna had even started to make a name for herself. After all, she was constantly hanging around film sets and begging the crews to let her take part – that’s going to get you noticed! Soon enough film crew’s soon dubbing her ‘Curious Chinese Child’. And that there is where Anna’s story becomes markedly different from every other starry-eyed starlet wannabe – she was Chinese. And in early 1900’s Hollywood that was a big deal.

This wasn’t a great time to be Chinese and living in America. Even if, like Anna May Wong, you were born into a second-generation Chinese American family. Racism was prevalent and Anna knew this all too well. At school Anna was called a ‘chink’, a classmate regularly stuck her with needles and she was jeered at in the street.

But racism doesn’t just pop up out of nowhere. To understand why this was happening to Anna, we need to do a little bit of background digging.

Back in 1882 The Chinese Exclusion Act was signed into law. This law aimed to stopped Chinese people from immigrating to the US and was the first (but not the last!) time America put a significant ban on people of certain ethnicities immigrated to the country. Many (mainly white) Americans believed that Chinese workers were taking their jobs, even though these workers made up just 00.2% of the population (Sorry Greg, I think you might be the problem here.)

Still, when people decide on a scape goat for their problems, they tend to stick with it, no matter the obvious facts. And when this happens, things escalate in the worst possible ways.

In 1885, white miners in Rock Springs, Wyoming, rioted against Chinese miners, who they believed had not only taken their jobs, but under the new Chinese Exclusion Act, had no right to be in America. What happened next was a massacre – at least 28 Chinese miners were murdered and over 70 homes burnt down. This wasn’t an isolated incident. Two years later in Oregon, the Hell Canyons Massacre took place. Thirty-four Chinese goldminers were murdered.

It wasn’t just out and out murder either. Around the time Anna May Wong was born, San Francisco’s China Town was in the midst of a bubonic plague outbreak. That’s right…a plague outbreak in America in the early 1900’s. Obviously the San Francisco government did everything they could to stop this…nah of course not! They denied it was happening, before eventually quarantining the neighbourhood.

Depiction of The Rock Springs Massacre

All of this gives us a picture of the world Anna May Wong was born into. But it also explains why she had such an uphill battle ahead of her when it came to being a film star.

Racism was rampant and people were not going to accept a Chinese woman as a leading lady. AND YET there was a demand for ‘oriental’ films. Despite the inherent racism of The Chinese Exclusion Act, throughout the 1800’s America had developed a love for the ‘oriental’; an overly exoticized fantasy of Asian culture. These stories turned women into sex objects and played up stereotypes of opium addicts and gangsters. It was a weird juxtaposition of

‘we don’t want you here but we would like to bastardize your culture for entertainment’.

It was these ‘oriental’ films that Anna May Wong watched on location in LA’s China Town. Understandably, when she told her parents she was trying to get a gig as an extra in one of these films, they weren’t thrilled. But she was determined and when she was determined to do something…she’d do it.

At 14, Anna landed her first job, as an extra in 1919’s The Red Lantern. Her dad knew he couldn’t stop her, so instead he made sure there were male extra’s around to keep an eye on his daughter.Anna stood out in the sea of lantern holding extra’s, soon landing more work and by 1921 she was having roles written for her, with her first credited debut in Bit’s of Life.

Then at just 17 she scored a leading role, in 1922’s The Toll Of The Sea. It was a loose retelling of Madame Butterfly (but set in China) and Anna played Lotus Flower, who falls in love with an America man. The pair marry and he promises to take her to America -he doesn’t- he leaves and she gives birth to their son. Like any good fuck boy, he returns to Lotus Flower, but with his new wholesome American wife in tow. She decides to give her son to this new woman, so he can have a ‘better’ life in America and the film ends with Lotus Flower walking into the sea.

It was a typical ‘oriental’ fantasy film, but Anna stood out and was praised for her acting. She got the kind of rave reviews that normally launched a starlet to a full-fledged leading lady. But, of course, this didn’t happen for Anna.

Anna May Wong in 1922’s Toll of the Sea. Note the American wife actually doing a full on ‘give me your baby’ gesture – subtlety I do not know thee.

Her next major role was as a stereotypical ‘Dragon Lady’ in 1924’s The Thief of Baghdad. Once more, Anna shone in a hit film, but again she was playing up to these oriental fantasy types. She’d now played both the naïve victim who understands that they are beneath the western ideal and the vamped up ‘exotic’ villain.

Nobody knew what to do with her next. She was a great actress and audiences liked her, but no studio was going to put her in a film that wasn’t ‘oriental’. Plus, Californian law meant that she would never be able to kiss a western actor on screen. Which effectively nixed any chances she might have had at scoring a ground-breaking lead – after all what’s a big blockbuster without that final happy ending kiss? All of this meant that for the next few years, Anna was doomed to ping back and forth between the victim and villain roles.

And it wasn’t only the studios that didn’t know what to do with Anna, the press didn’t either. Anna was now a certified name, so fan magazines and newspapers needed to write about her. But they had no idea how. Anna was a paradox – both American and Chinese at the same time, a fact that flummoxed the press. So much so that it was almost always what they ended up leading with in their articles on her.

Anna May Wong in a 1932 edition of New Movie Magazine

The write ups weren’t much better. For example, one fan magazine wrote:

‘Anna May Wong symbolizes the eternal paradox of her ancient race…she reminds us of cruel and intricate intrigues, and, at the same time, of crooned Chinese lullabies. She brings to the screen the rare comprehension and the mysterious colors of her ivory-skinned race.”

Here’s another:

‘Anna May Wong has never even been to China, and you might just as well know it right now. Moreover, she has seen NY’s Chinatown only from a taxi-cab, and she doesn’t wear a mandarin coat … her English is faultless. Her conversation consists of scintillating chatter that any flapper might envy. Her sense of humor is thoroughly American. She didn’t eat rice when she and I lunched together, and she distinctly impressed it upon the waiter to bring her coffee, not tea.’

Why yes Anna, that BS does deserve some serious side eye

Anna’s ethnicity was always the main talking point, never her acting; despite her being arguably one of the strongest actors of her day. And Anna didn’t let this slide. She regularly spoke out about how shitty casting was, saying

“Rather than real Chinese, producers prefer Hungarians, Mexicans, American Indians for Chinese roles.”

But she wasn’t going to just complain. In 1924, Anna started her own production company. She planned to cash in on the public’s interest in her ethnicity, by creating films about Chinese culture and traditional myths. However, by making these films herself, she hoped she could break some of those ‘oriental fantasy’ stereotypes. It was a canny plan and it could have been truly pioneering…if Anna’s business partner hadn’t turned out to be corrupt. Her company was sunk before it had even begun.

Anna was officially over Hollywood. In 1926 she’d had to watch on at the opening of Graumans Chinese Theatre (ironic name right there) where she’d been invited to help put in the buildings first rivet, but was barred from putting her hands and feet in the theatre’s famous walk. It didn’t matter how hard she worked or how good she was, she’d never get a fair shake in Hollywood. She was firmly pigeon holed as the ‘exotic other’ and as she put it, the actress who:

‘Died a thousand times’

Because interesting though Hollywood found her characters, the ‘exotic other’ was never allowed to live to see the end credits.

Anna wanted more. So in 1928 she packed up and set off for Europe.

Anna May Wong in 1929’s British film, Picadilly. She played a supporting role, but famously stole the entire film

European cinema was much more open to casting Anna as more than just a villain. She could get meatier roles and finally show off her acting to its true poteintial. Yes, many of her parts were at least somewhat rooted in Anna’s ethnicity, but that wasn’t all they were. In one 1933 interview, she highlighted why she felt her move away from Hollywood was so important:

“I was so tired of the parts I had to play. Why is it that the screen Chinese is nearly always the villain of the piece, and so cruel a villain—murderous, treacherous, a snake in the grass. We are not like that.’

Anna didn’t just want better acting roles; she didn’t want to personify racist stereotypes anymore. By doing that, she was only feeding the narrative and making it more toxic. So she went somewhere where she could make movies that would help change people’s perceptions. It’s a ballsy move and one that’s often overlooked. And Anna did the work to ensure these films were widely viewed.

In her first talkie (1930’s, The Flame of Love), she recorded her lines in fluent French, German and English. Anna also took to the stage, appearing opposite Laurence Olivier in The Circle of Chalk, and once more showed off her German skills when she sang the title role in operetta, Tschun Tsch.

Things were going great for Anna. She might not have had the Hollywood dream she’d once hoped for, but she was making incredible work and helping break barriers whilst doing so.

It kind of makes sense then, when in 1930 Paramount called Anna, she didn’t tell them to stick it.

Paramount promised Anna that if she returned to Hollywood, they would finally give her leading roles. And, considering her success in Europe, you can see why she said yes. After all, Hollywood would have noticed how well Anna’s new pictures had performed at the box office, so maybe they were starting to rethink the kind of roles they could offer a Chinese American actress.

They were not.

Anna arrived back in Hollywood to find nothing had changed. Her first film role back was in ‘The Dragons Daughter’ where she played ‘The Dragon Lady’ type again. She co-starred with one of the only other high-profile Asian actors in Hollywood, Sessue Hayakawa. Sessue was also coming back to the studio system after a break (where like Anna he’d worked in other fields of acting so he could play less stereotypical roles) and despite being the films leads, both Sessue and Anna were paid substantially less than their white co-star, Warner Oland who appears for just over 25 minutes and is in yellow face the whole time (btw, Warner Oland basically made his entire career off of doing yellow face, so the latter isn’t really a surpirse) 

Poster for The Daughter of The Dragon, complete with Warner Oland in full yellow face standing next to Anna…apprently this wasn’t in any way awkward for him,

What made Anna’s return even worse, was that now she was being passed over for roles, which demanded a Chinese actress, because she was

‘Too Chinese to play Chinese’

Just let that sit with you.

Can you even imagine?! Not only that, but because (apparently) all Chinese actresses were to Chinese to portray Chinese people, these roles went to white actresses who were given yellow face. To top it all, magazines like Photoplay even ran features praising the actresses and the make up artists for pulling off the look:

Examples from Movie Play Magazine. Helen Hayes (piece to the left) actually was cast over Anna, for this role in The Son-Daughter.

But there was hope on the horizon. In 1935 It was announced that MGM would be making a film of best selling book, The Good Earth. The book is based in northern china and tells the story of a young farmer, Wang Lung, and his wife, O-Lan. The couple are living on the brink of famine, on land that they only have through O-Lan’s hard work and smarts. Yet things keep getting worse. Their older daughter is disabled thanks to poor nutrition and O-Lan kills their newborn daughter, unable to feed another mouth. And that’s just the first act! It’s an incredibly tragic drama and any adaptation would need the best actress possible to play the multifaceted O-Lan.

Anna knew this was her part. She’d been publicly campaigning for the role since the book came out in 1931 and not only was she the most prominent Chinese actress working in Hollywood, but she’d shown time and time again that she had the acting chops to pull this off.

So obviously MGM cast white German actress, Luise Rainer. Instead offering Anna the role of Lotus, a courtesan who breaks up the marriage of O-Lan and Wang Lung. Disgusted, Anna refused the part, which instead went to white Austrian actress, Tilly Losch. Luise won the 1937 best actress Oscar for her role as O-Lan and Anna was left with the words ‘Too Chinese’ swirling round and round her head.

Luise Rainer in make up for the Good Earth, from Talking Pictures Magazine

In 1936 Anna decided to go on a tour of China. For years she’d been called ‘too chinese’ but she’d never actually been to the country. Now she wanted to change that.

It’s often reported that Anna’s trip to China was a rousing success. It wasn’t. The Chinese press had never been kind to Anna’s acting in overly exoticized pictures and taking parts that emphasised western stereotypes of Chinese women as sex objects. Headlining pieces:

‘Paramount Utilizes Anna May Wong to Produce Picture to Disgrace China’

And going on to say, ‘Although she is deficient in artistic portrayal, she has done more than enough to disgrace the Chinese race’. It was another blow, but this is Anna May Wong we’re talking about. She didn’t give up. Whilst in China she arranged newsrell footage of her travels, putting them together in a documentary, My China. This was both a way to showcase what China was actually like and a middle finger up at MGM and The Good Earth.

Still, Anna was under contract with Paramount, so she had to go back to Hollywood. There she made her way through a succession of B Movies, playing the same characters she always had. Though the films didn’t get good reviews, Anna consistently did. However, of course, that didn’t mean she’d ever get any better roles offered to her.

Yet again, Anna was stuck doing the same stereotypical BS. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t use her voice.

During the Second World War Anna spoke out and asked for America to do more to help China. She took part in two Anti Japense propaganda films (donating her salaries to the United China war relief effort) before retiring from films in 1942, so she could dedicate herself full time to raising money and support.

She’d run Chinese war bond rallies, sign autographs in return for donations and auctioned off her enviable wardrobe. In 1943, The Chinese Exclusion Act was repealed (to an extent) a move which many credited Anna for helping with. Time magazine writing:

‘Her speaking was so effective in US congress that some credit her with the repeal of Chinese exclusion laws’

Anna eventually went back to acting, though to a lesser extent. There were less jobs for her now, although in 1951 she became the first Asian-American actor to lead a TV show, with detective drama, The Gallery of Madame Liu-Tsong.

After the show wrapped, Anna’s health started to fail. She still worked, but was getting progressively sicker. In 1961 Anna died in her sleep of a heart attack, aged just 56.

Over the years Our understanding of Anna May Wong has changed, in the past she was often dubbed a puppet of the Hollywood system who demeaned her heritage, she is now seen as a pioneer (ironically, the opposite has happened to actors like Hattie McDaniel…)

Still though, the most frequent way Anna’s story is told, is as a cautionary tale. With ‘Yellow Face’ still way to prevalent (in the past few years Emma Stone and Scarlett Johansson have both taken on parts originally written as characters of Asian heritage). And although the message of – dear white actors, stop being dicks- is important, it shouldn’t be the only thing we remember her for.

Anna May Wong was an incredible woman, who worked within an abhorrently shitty system. Yet, she still came up with ways to do what she loved – act. All while breaking down barriers and opening doors for those that came after her. Now that’s a true Hollywood legend.

The forgotten story of the woman who created colour film: Natalie Kalmus

Natalie Kalmus was born in 1882 and has 404 credits on IMDB.

Just to give you an idea how incredible that is, Steven Spielberg has 299 IMDB credits, Alfred Hitchcock clocks in at 204 and James Cameron, 151 (come on James, get it together).

So who was Natalie Kalmus and how did this woman, born before the Hollywood boom even existed, rack up such an impressive cinematic CV?

Well, Natalie Kalmus gave us colour film.

Seriously, watch any Technicolor Film from the 1930s and 1940s and you will see her name!

The creation of colour film

Natalie was married to Herbert Kalmus, who was the founder and president of Technicolor. A graduate of MIT, Herbert founded the company with several of his friends in 1914.

Now, Technicolor was far from the first colour film technology maker. From 1909, British born company, Kinemacolor was the market leader, offering Hollywood tech for creating colour film.

Their system transformed black and white film by projecting it through alternating between red and green filters.

An example of an early Kinemacolor film, 1908

As you can see, there is colour, but it’s far from true to life.

Though there was scope for Kinemacolor to evolve, it was never going to move much past the heavy red and green hues.

So Herbert Kalmus and his pals at Technicolor ditched the green red method and spent the next 2 DECADES trying to come up with a better way to make colour film.

Sadly, everything Herbert tried was either ridiculously expensive, needed a ton of experienced people to operate or just didn’t create the desired effect.

But by 1932 Herbert had the system perfected! Essentially this new system worked from start to finish; from using refracted light in the camera to bathing the film strip in coloured dye (this is a really basic description, click here for more detail) 

Finally, colour film was a go! Sadly… nobody wanted it.

The Great Depression had just hit and no one wanted to take a punt on Technicolor and its expensive services. This was not an economy in which to take a gamble!

That is, unless you were Walt Disney…

In 1932 Herbert Kalmus convinced Walt Disney to try out his new tech. Disney agreed, with the caveat he had total animation monopoly on Technicolor until 1935 (classic Disney business move: smart and oh so scary) 

Disney’s Silly Symphonies, Flowers and Trees short, was the first animation by the studio to use Technicolor.

Released in 1933, it was an immediate hit with audiences and critics alike.

The worth of Technicolor had been proved and soon enough all the major studios were desperate to make the move to colour.

Disney’s Silly Symphonies, Flowers and Trees, 1933. Dancing Fauna just casually revolutionising film

The race to make the next hit colour picture sounded one hell of a pay day for Technicolor.

You see, studios couldn’t buy Technicolor equipment outright, they had to rent everything. This massively boosted the companies bottom line.

BUT there was one huge issue:

Quality control

The possibilities of what could be achieved with this level of colour were endless and as such, film makers were chomping at the bit to get to play with this new tech.

They wanted to use all the crayons in the box, at the same time. As anyone who has ever seen a child’s drawing can attest – that is not always a good thing.

But one person stood between directors and the future of film looking like a toddlers psychedelic nightmare doodle.

That person, was Natalie Kalmus.

Meet Natalie and this totally not at all sexist newspaper article about her…

Natalie wanted to ensure that Technicolor lasted as both a company and an industry standard. She believed that colour had the potential to be more than a money grabbing fad. It could totally revolutionise film as an art form.

But that couldn’t happen if film makers were able to just throw the entire kitchen sink at the screen!

So when you hired Technicolor equipment, you also had to hire Natalie Kalmus.

Natalie served as colour supervisor on almost every Technicolor film from 1934 – 1949.

A former art student and passionate art lover, Natalie was the perfect person to steer the future of colour film. Although Herbert Kalmus and Natalie had secretly split by 1922 (though they continued living together) she’d been right there during Technicolor’s decades long inception, often serving as it’s on screen test model.

There was nobody who understood the tech and its artistic capabilities better.

In 1935, Natalie wrote her magnum opus: ‘Colour Consciousness’

Rather than just throwing everything at the screen, Natalie wanted colour to be carefully orchestrated through the film. In the same way that a films score underpins the story, emotions and individual characters, so would colour.

Through Colour Consciousness, Natalie asked the filmmakers working with Technicolor to delve through art history, looking at how these painters used colours to tell their stories.

By doing this, Natalie was hammering home the importance of people’s psychological reaction to specific hues, as well as how good they’d look on screen.

As an example, lets take The

Wizard of Oz. In the film, Dorothy’s shoes aren’t just changed from their original silver, because red will look better!

Yes they pop on that yellow brick road, but they also contrast as the polar opposite to the Wicked Witches uncanny and sinister looking green skin.

The ruby slippers are that particular shade of ruby red because it’s one that creates a feeling of lively fun, rather than just a few shades darker, which can conjure thoughts of blood!

That’s a lot of thought on what’s essentially a prop. But it clearly worked, because decades later, those shoes are still world famous!

Natalie didn’t just boost a stories plot through colour, she also made the whole film a visual feast.

As we have covered, Technicolor was a totally new visual tech and black and white methods for camera, art design, lighting, costuming, and well, everything else would not work here!

There was a lot of scope to get things wrong! Seriously, if colour film isn’t done right it has the capability to make some people actually feel physically ill (kind of like how 3D films did a couple of years ago…)

NOT ON NATALIE’S WATCH! 

So once more Natalie looked to art for inspiration and taught entire crews how to change their work to match this new tech.

She showed Art Departments how mix of warm and dark tones to make previously flat sets look deep. Lighting crews how ow to use shadow and coloured lighting together. And schooled directors in working within in a specific palette to create a colour scheme that didn’t detract but rather worked harmoniously to tell the story.

This is why the advent of colour films gives us these gloriously detailed sets. Sumptuous costuming and the first use of colour coding to set a character or mood.

If this sounds like big deal, it’s because it is. All of this is a HUGE part of the foundation for film making as we know it today. 

An example of Natalie’s work on 1948s The Red Shoes. Seriously, go watch this film, it’s just bloody fantastic and every single shot is piece of art in itself

BUT not all of Hollywood’s power players were down with Natalie and her new techniques.

Much of this was due to the old boys club not loving the fact that a woman was coming onto their set and having a say.

Add to that the fact that Natalie had no problem entering a shouting match with Hollywood’s leading male directors, and you have a powder keg just waiting to explode.

Thus, Natalie was loathed by the vast majority of the filmmakers she worked with.

David O Selznick was so riled up by Natalie that he actually tried to have Gone With The Wind shot in black and white, just to get her off his set!

Another film maker, Allan Dwan later summed up his opinion on Natalie:

‘Natalie Kalmus is a bitch’ 

Mighty big words you’re throwing about there Allan…

But, did all this hate deter Natalie?

Nope!

Instead of shying away, she built up a huge department of colour supervising specialists and led the charge of colour film-making.

Natalie had a direct hand in almost every colour film made for over a decade. THAT’S HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF FILMS!

It’s very much because of Natalie, her techniques and her work that Technicolor was a success. It didn’t die out as a fad, but proved colour was key to making films. Not only bringing in crowds but becoming a vital tool in making GREAT cinema.

This meant that studios were happy to continue paying more money to make colour pictures over black and white, during economic low periods like WW2.

Thus, Natalie Kalmus is arguably the reason that colour cinema sustained.

A classic example of Natalie’s work, quite literally taking film from black and white to colour

So then, if Natalie Kalmus is so great then why did she stop working and why haven’t we heard of her?

Well for 2 reasons:

1. The old boys club finally won

By the late 1940s, Natalie had pissed too many of Hollywood’s powerful men. She started to be removed from sets, gradually working less and less as rumours of her ‘hysterical’ outbursts spread.

This was exasperated by:

     2. Her alimony case against Herbert Kalmus

Though Natalie and Herbert split in the early 1920s, their breakup was pretty amicable, they even continued living together! All was well, until the 1940s, when Herbert decided to remarry. Essentially kicking Natalie out.

So she went to court in pursuit of alimony.

After all, Herbert was  a very rich man and much of that wealth was thanks to Natalie. She wanted what was hers.

Sadly the courts didn’t agree and Natalie’s case was thrown out of court. Upon the news, she broke down, begging the judge for ‘justice’.

As she sobbed, photographers snapped away and soon enough this was all over town:

Los Angeles Times article detailing Natalie Kalmus ‘hysteria’ in court.

After the fallout of the trial and the ongoing rumours of her ‘hysterical’ nature, Herbert stripped Natalie of her job at Technicolor.

Natalie never recovered from this career blow and she didn’t work in film again.

She died quietly in 1965, mostly forgotten by the industry she helped build.

But Natalie’s film legacy lives on. Her work is the building blocks for modern Hollywood. So next time you watch a colour film, be it Singing In The Rain, Gone with Wind, The Red Shoes, or the latest blockbuster, thank Natalie Kalmus.

This was interesting, where can I find out more? Well, there’s nobody better than the woman herself to show you how enduring Natalie Kalmus work is. So I suggest you check it her amazing, Colour Consciousness, which you can do, for free, HERE.

The Horrifying History of Hair Dye

Hair dye is by no means a new invention. In fact since early recorded history, people (particularly women) have been transforming their locks, just not in a way we – or anyone with even an ounce of sanity – would guess!

Rome: DIY Bleach and Horror  

In early Rome, it wasn’t uncommon for ladies to attempt to colour greying hair with a root touch up, because apparently women aging has never been ok.

Anyway for this grey be gone, a concuction of boiled walnut shells, ashes and, er, earthworms, would be ground together to form a lovely dark paste.

But it wasn’t just dark haired ladies getting in on the gross dying action, blondes were also having fun (groan)

Trust me, you’re not gonna wanna touch that hair when you find out how the Romans dyed it.

In this era, blonde hair was used to mark sex workers.

This was done either by using blonde wigs (taken from Germanic folk the Romans had handily invaded) OR by dying the hair.

Now if you thought earthworms were bad, then you’re going to want to strap in for the next bit, because all kinds of no.

To achieve blonde hair, a woman’s hair was slathered with anything from ashes to pigeon shit and then pissed on.

I know. I’m sorry.

BUT, this grimness does actually have some science behind it! See pee contains ammonia which acts as a bleach, which in turn, helps dye hair blonde.

Isn’t history the best?!? 

I’m sorry…it only gets worse from here

Elizabethan Pain and Price-tags 

Elizabeth I bought lip liner to the world, as well as using lead to lighten your skin (you win some you lose some) but it wasn’t just makeup that Lizzy was pioneering; she was also waaay ahead in the hair game!

A queen of iconic hair, it’s perhaps unsurprising that a lot of women in her court wanted in on Lizzys legendary locks.

And so ladies would pluck back their hairlines to achieve that trademark high Elizabethan forehead (ouch!)

But just look at that forehead, totes worth it

Colouring was also a big thing, with red and blonde both the beauty ideals of the day.

 

Blonde was achieved with a seriously expensive mix of cumin seeds, saffron, oil and celadine, effectively pricing anyone but noble borns from the faux blonde hair racket.

Still, you can’t knock a good false blonde down and women once again resorted to pissing on their heads to bleach the fuck out of their hair.

I’m sorry blondes, I promise this is probably the last mention of pee bleach.

Luckily, going red was a much nicer process.

Elizabethan ladies opted for henna, a method that is still really popular today.

Note: I’ve been dying my hair red for over a decade; the success rate of a decent colour using henna is like 0.0001%, so don’t be trying no Elizabethan dye jobs at Home.

The 1600s: It get’s better. I guess… 

In 1602, Sir Hugh Platt published, Delightes for Ladies; a handy guide of hints, tips and recipes for women. Hugh even included some hair care know how that didn’t suggest dead insects or piss as hair dye ingredients!

awwww, look how happy the blondes are!

But, don’t applaud just yet! 

 

Yeah. Turns out Hugh reeeally didn’t like women having hair; suggesting using sulphuric acid to dye their locks a fetching blonde.

Don’t worry though, Hugh makes it clear you shouldn’t touch the acid, just rub it all over your scalp. 👍

Thankfully by the end of the 1600s, wigs took over from highly dangerous chemicals.

These wigs not only allowed women to turn thier hair into towering pieces of ornate artwork, but also play with colour.

Marie Antoinette was a huge fan of pastels, with her wig collection looking a lot like a very hairy sweet shop!

Pastel hair and a flower crown!! Girls basically ready for Coachella

Sadly all pastel haired dreams must come to an end and the French Revolution did away with the trend for spectacular coloured wigs.

In its place was the Titus.

A groundbreaking short hair cut that both acted as a protest to the French Revolution and meant women didn’t have to spend hours piling on pounds of hair.

But sadly the Titus was all about looking natural, meaning hair dye was out…

Damn you the Titus’s simplistic natural beauty!!!

But then in 1856: Everything changed

A teenage science nerd called William Perkin was trying to synthesise quinine (a medicine now used to fight maleria) to impress his teacher. Because. Nerd.

Sadly, William totally failed.

BUT he did accidentally create a purple shade, which he dubbed Mauvine.

This was the first synthetic dye!

Mauvine went on to help medical research, build up the textile industry, create new types of food manufacturing and tons more!

But let’s be real, the real success here was opening up hair to a whole rainbow of chemical colours!

By the 1920s women were all over chemical hair dyes!

Sure you left the salon with a burning scalp, but your hair was really pretty, so fair trade right?

OBVIOUSLY NO

Messing around chemicals is a dangerous game. Then putting that mess on your head is basically asking to be maimed.

Nobody is a better testimont to this than Hollywood star, Jean Harlow

Hair so good, it doesn’t even move

Jean Harlow’s nickname was, The Platinum Blonde.

This meant, that as well as acting, being the blondest blonde in Hollywood was basically Jeans number 1 priority.

But this was no easy feat. Nobody was naturally that blonde.

So Jean went to extreme lengths to reach her famed platinum hue.

According to Alfred Pagano, Jeans hairdresser:

“We used peroxide, ammonia, Clorox, and Lux flakes! Can you believe that?”

No Alfred I can’t believe that!

Mainly because mixing literal household bleach (Clorox) and ammonia creates a highly noxious gas which can ultimately lead to kidney failure.

Jeans hair was dyed using this deadly deadly mess ONCE A WEEK FOR YEARS.

How is that shit even legal???!!!???

Thousands upon thousands of women attempted DIY versions of Jeans famous platinum dye recipe, with sales of bleach and ammonia sky rocketing

Thankfully the trend was short lived.

Jeans hair all fell out, which meant she stopped dying it and went to wigs.

But the deadly dyes effects remained.

Jean died of kidney failure aged 26. It was a slow and painful death: almost certainly down to her famed hair dye recipe.

Jean Harlow: Literally killed by marketing

Mercifully, Jean was one of hair dyes last casualties.

By the 1950s mainstream brands like L’Oréal were selling hair dye that dyed hair blonde by lightening, rather than replying on bleach, or you know…piss.

The following decades were defined by hair colour, from the bright colours of the 1980s to the highlights of the 1990s and early 00s (oh hey ‘The Rachel’!)

Now it’s estimated around 70% of women dye their hair , which is pretty unsurprising when you release what a historic love affair we’ve had with colour (and that we know longer need pee to be on trend!)

This was interesting, where can I find out more? Fashions in Hair, the first 5000 years, by Richard Colson is a cracking book. But its retail price is mighty expensive, so best bet for that one is checking out your local library!

Another great (and affordable…) read is Face Paint, The Story of Make Up, by Louise Eldridge, which looks at historic beauty trends.

 

4 unheard of Old Hollywood Christmas films guaranteed to fill you with festive Cheer!

It’s officially the run up to Christmas, and you know what that means:

Time to bust out all of the old school Christmas films!!! 

There’s just one problem though. All the true old school Christmas classics kind of have to be saved until Christmas Eve (it’s festive law). So without the It’s A Wonderful Life’s of the world, if you want a black and white film fix, you’re stuck with the 1938 version of Christmas Carol (which is a classic and all, but it’s not the right version of Christmas Carol…)

Truly the only adaptation of Victorian literature that matters

But suffer no longer! I’ve gathered four of the best old (we’re talking released in 1945 or earlier!) films, that you probably haven’t seen. All are fun and most importantly batshit enough to keep you entertained no matter what level of turkey based food coma you’re in.

So crack open the wine and prepare to mock and love these films in equal measure!

1 – The Shop Around The Corner, 1940

Watch It Because… truly nothing says Christmas like Jimmy Stewart in a suicidal Christmas film!

What’s it about? Set in Budapest, Hungary (as nifty a way for the film studio to seem Euro positive during WW2) the film follows a group of shop-workers; specifically Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullivan, who can’t stand each other… but *gasp* they are actually secretly falling in love with each other as anonymous pen pals!

Please don’t judge this film by the nightmare painting of Jimmy Stewart

What makes it so good? If you haven’t guessed yet, 1990s classic, You’ve Got Mail is based on this. BUT the original has two major bonuses over the remake:

1. The romance is waaaay off: Seriously, the romance here is less ‘I bet they have really good angry sex’ and more ‘I bet they have a lot of angry sex followed by crying’. The hatred between these two is real! They should in no way be together and if it doesn’t end in divorce within a year, I’ll eat my santa hat.

‘I probably wouldn’t have shouted at you so much…probably’

2. It’s festive AS F!! Set in snow capped Hungary with a Christmas Eve kissing session thrown in for good measure, this film is all kinds of cosy!

Plus it also stars Frank Morgan AKA the wizard of oz!

Look at this guy, his face just screams cosy Christmas!

What’s the downside? Well *spoiler alert* er…The Wizard tries to kill himself. Frank Morgan plays the shop’s owner, who through the course of the film starts off fine, then suspects his wife of having an affair, has a breakdown and attempts suicide.

Yeeeeah…maybe not one for the kids

Don’t worry though, two days after his suicide attempt the Wizard is back at the shop and everyone just kind of glosses over what happened…making this the ultimate Christmas film for everyone with a massively dysfunctional family.

Where can I watch it? It’s available to rent for not very much at all on Amazon (included in some Prime packages), YouTube and Google Play.

2 – Christmas in Connecticut, 1945

Watch This Because… this screwball comedy with a female lead, somehow manages to both be WAY ahead of its time and yet somehow really outdated…it’s quite an impressive feat!

The MOST  acting ever captured on one film poster

What’s it about? Barbara Stynwyck plays a career gal writer whose homemaking column has transformed her into the 1940s Martha Stewart.

The only problem? She can’t even make toast!

But when her boss forces her to host a (cute) military hero at her (imaginary) farm for Christmas, Barbara has no choice to make her homemaking fantasy life a reality. Cue much screwball comedy, fake babies, kitchen mishaps and a love triangle.

The film also contains some of the best/worst double entendres ever committed to film.

So what makes it so good? Well not to be this person…but Barbara’s wardrobe is pretty great. Plus *spoiler ahead* Barbara doesn’t magically become great at homemaking or ditch writing to become a wife. By the end she gets a promotion and gets off with the guy who is totally fine with the fact she can’t cook, clean or change a baby (but he can!)

So what’s the downsides? Well the film is a bit all over the place. Luckily it’s a truly old school screwball comedy so it gets away with it. However, I’d recommend tucking into some mulled wine and creating a Christmas in Connecticut drinking game to get you through the more nonsensical bits.

Where can I watch it? Available on Youtube, Amazon Prime and Google Play.

3 – It happened on fifth avenue, 1947 

Watch It Because… It’s the most screwed over Christmas film in history. It lost it’s director to It’s a Wonderful Life and was beaten to Oscar Glory by Miracle on 34th Street. Basically it had zero luck!

Now finally re-released after decades in the wilderness, this sweet (and weirdly socialist) movie looks set to make an iconic Christmas comeback!

What’s it about? A rich businessman leaves his plush pad vacant whilst he is out of town over Christmas. Except it’s not empty…because a homeless man has broken in and set up a fancy temporary home there!

Said homeless man invites round his mates, including a a newly homeless war vet and a young female drifter, who turns out to be the real home owners daughter and she’s just pretending to be homeless (bit of a twat move but there we go)

Soon the rich homeowner comes back (now pretending to be homeless, because why not) and learns that about human plight, compassion and to use his wealth to help others.

I can’t point out who here is actually homeless and who is a prick pretending to be

What’s good? It’s basically a very socialist Christmas! Honestly, one of the story lines involves a group of homeless veterans trying to fund their plan to build mass affordable housing. The film couldn’t be more humanist and socialist if it tried!

The downside? Good luck watching this if you live outside the USA. For real, there is literally no way to watch it legally and that’s super bloody frustrating!

Where can I watch it?  Well if your in the US, you can rent it for a pittance on YouTube, Amazon or Google Play. Not in the US… happy streaming!

4 – Meet me in St Louis, 1944

Watch It Because… nothing says Christmas quite like Judy motherfucking Garland.(And although apparently this is on in America constantly over Christmas,the same cannot be said for the UK) 

What’s it about? The film spends a year following the Smith family, a middle class family at the turn of the century. From spring to winter, we watch as the family are torn apart, pull back together again and generally learn all about family values and love etc etc.

Presenting the most camp and loud poster to ever grace the world

Whats good? It’s generally a cracking musical. You have fun numbers, ear worms a plenty and of course – Miss Judy Garland.

On a festive note, the film contains the classic song: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Arguably one of the most under appreciated festive numbers around. Now – For those who don’t know…Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas is the perfect mix of both melancholic and hopeful. During Meet Me in St Louis it’s sang right after this happens:Why yes, that is an emotional little girl murdering a snowman with what looks like a gun.

Judy Garlands character sings ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ to soothe her upset sister (following snowman decapitation gate) With the songs lyrics reminding us that no matter how bad things are right now, things will get better. But until then, if we band together with those we love we can ‘muddle through somehow.’ 

My god doesn’t that seem like the end of year anthem 2019 needs? 

Where I can watch it? Again, Amazon, YouTube and Google Play have it for less than a cup of coffee. If you live in the UK it is also on SkyCinema

Hedy Lemarr: the sex symbol that gave us wifi

Hedy Lamarr is a goddess, she was a sultry screen siren who was famous for being one of the first to portray a woman having an ORGASM on-screen! Before the sodding film censorship boards nixed all the fun stuff in the 30’s…

Eat it bitches! Via Giphy

Hedy wasn’t just a Hollywood starlet though, she was also a badass inventor who gave the world frequency hopping which gave us the how-did-we-live-without-it Wi-Fi, GPS and Bluetooth. Honestly I think I’d be dead without them by now, having been eaten by bears after getting lost in IKEA.

Some people (they’re mostly dudes) claim she didn’t really have much of a hand in it and they put her name on the invention patent as she was a well-known celeb. To these people I say;

‘BOLLOCKS YOU CHUFFING BUM BAGS!’

She ain’t bothered. Via Giphy

Hedy was born in Austria in 1914. In the 1920s she was discovered as an actress and worked in the European film industry.

One of her most famous early roles was in Ecstasy (1933) where she portrayed a bored young housewife who gets it on with a big-buff-sexy-worker-man. She appeared nude in the film, but was tricked into doing this by the director (What a fucking surprise). This is also the film where she’s shown having a delightful orgasm on screen.

During her time making these European films, Hedy was trapped in a shitty marriage to an Austrian Arms dealer 15 years her senior.

He was a gross, controlling asshat and you know, A FUCKING NAZI ARMS DEALER, so Hedy decided to ditch the git. Hedy disguised herself as a maid and fled the country running off to Paris where she met Louis B. Meyer, of MGM studios. Louis then whisked her off to become a Hollywood film star.

BYE BITCH! Via Giphy

Hedy lamented only being given roles where she was a sexy, almost mute figure in most of her films; she was getting really really bored. So she decided she’d invent cool stuff on the side.

Hedy was totally self-taught, she’d had no formal training but she did have a brilliant mind and an eye for detail.

She dated the rather eccentric billionaire Howard Hughes for a while and he’d ask her advice when he was building planes. Hedy (being a fucking smart cookie) gave Howard a whole heap of drawings and research which she’d gathered using techniques from birds and told him he should start to go about making his planes more aerodynamic. SMART!

POW! Hitting you with knowledge… and cheekbones! Via Giphy

Her biggest breakthrough idea was based on a torpedo guidance system. You see, during WW2, torpedoes were radio controlled and this created huge problems because the signal could be easily jammed making the torpedo fly off course faster than your drunk Aunty Irene at your cousins wedding.

Hedy (having been married to an arms dealer) had knowledge of how these torpedoes worked AND how they were jammed. So she came up with the idea of frequency hopping to make the signal harder to jam.

This meant that the torpedoes could hit shit more accurately and thus blow up more Nazi’s. HUZZAH!

Hedy then asked her good mate, composer and fellow genius, George Antheil, to help her come up with a machine that could hop between frequencies.

She’s smug because she KNOWS she’s smarter than you. Via Giphy

George made a neat gadget from a tiny self-playing piano mechanism that synched up with radio waves. Each new note = a new radio frequency. Undoubtedly genius! BUT, this nifty gadget is why some argue Hedy gets too much credit for frequency hopping.

I’d disagree. After all Hedy came up with the idea and understood the musicality behind the theory of frequency hopping.

Anyway, Hedy and George both patented the idea in 1942 and gave it to the US navy as part of the war effort. The idea wasn’t immediately picked up by the Navy (dumbasses) and it was left in a pile marked TO DO until 1962 when they finally utilised the system in their fleets.

That’s morse code for ‘ABOUT FUCKING TIME!’ Via Giphy

I cannot express how incredible and important this invention was.

Frequency hoping is the Grandmother of Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and GPS and without it we could not watch amusing videos of cats all day instead of working!

Hedy and George were recognised by the National inventors Hall of Fame in 2014 when they were posthumously inducted. Took their fucking time with that one…

THANK YOU HEDY, WE LOVE YOU!

A truly smart, sassy & sessy lady. Via Giphy

This was really interesting, where can I find out more? I’m glad you asked babes. Richard Rhodes book: Hedy’s Folly: The Life and Breakthrough Inventions of Hedy Lamarr, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World (bit of a fucking mouthful) is a great read if you’re interested in the technical side of things.

Hedy also has a bonkers autobiography called Ecstasy and Me, which is mostly fabricated bollocks from the ghostwriter, but is a great trashy read.

Sara Westrop is passionate about making history accessible (and fun!) for everyone. A disabled, queer writer from just outside London, who loves writing about the unsung chapters of history.

The Hollywood Canteen: starlets, pie and murder

The brain child of Bette Davies and John Garfield, The Hollywood canteen served up wartime escapism with more than a dollop of movie magic.

Opening in 1942, the canteen only served serviceman, but that’s not what made the canteen so special….see it was entirely staffed by Hollywoods entertainment elite. Rita Hayworth dished up pie, Shirley Temple worked behind the bar, Betty Grable waitressed and Marlene Dietrich washed dishes. It was a movie bought to life, players and all.

Interestingly, Rita Hyaworth and I have the same pie cutting outfit

The incredible impact it made in cheering up the troops can not be denied…but the Hollywood Canteen couldn’t run on star power alone. With 3 million servicemen pouring through it’s doors (and those men getting through at least 30,000 gallons of punch a month!) there just weren’t enough celebrities to both make films and wash mountains of dishes.

 

So the canteen hired a small army of junior hostesses. Beautiful young women who dreamed of making it big in Hollywood, they jumped at the chance to both help the war effort and potentially get plucked from obscurity.

Now working for the canteen was a big deal! Sure you didn’t get paid, sure most of your work was cleaning up, serving and being made to dance…but you guys…there was a film about The Hollywood Canteen, stars and studio big wigs dotted it’s halls and to work there was a chance to be someone; if just for one night. 

But, once hired, The junior hostesses had to play by a whole bunch of rules! They had to maintain their looks, they weren’t to even think about stepping on the floor with a hair out of place. They must dress appropriately and act appropriately at all times. And most importantly…they had to be good girls – so no going home with the servicemen!

Good food, good girls and good clean all American fun…

What could possibly go wrong?

 

well shit. 

Georgette Bauerdorf

Oil Heiress, Georgette moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming an actress. So naturally, like scores of other budding starlets, she snagged a job as a junior hostess at The Hollywood Canteen.

Georgette was immediately a very popular hostess: charismatic and beautiful, her dance card was full. But the good times didn’t last. On the night of 11 October 1944, Georgette finished up another shift as a junior hostess, hopped in her car and headed home.

The next morning, her cleaner found Georgettes body face down in her bath tub. She’d been raped and strangled.

There was no sign of a break in, no sign of a struggle, nothing of value had been stolen; though Georgette did have some bruising, the killer had left no other trace. The last anyone ever heard of Georgette was a scream:

‘You’re killing me’

(Note: By the way, if you ever hear something like this, please be a babe and call the police immediately)

To this day, Georgettes murderer remains unfound….. But don’t worry, that’s not the end, of course not…the internet exists! So there are looooooots of theories

web sleuths in one gif

Some arm chair theorists believe Georgette was a victim of the Black Dahlia murderer…but the evidence on that one is pretty shaky (like HH Holmes is Jack the Ripper shaky…) So we’re just gonna discount that right now.

Where does that leave us? Well…it all points back to one place:According to her friends and weirdly also her Dad’s secretary, Georgette dated some of the men she had met whilst at work in The Hollywood Canteen; though she always did so under a shroud of secrecy, keen not to be shown breaking Canteen rules.

When going out with these men, Georgette insisted on footing the bill (after all she was an heiress and they weren’t making the big bucks in the army!) her good will didn’t end there. If she saw a soldier looking lost, she’d offer him a lift. If she saw someone counting their pennies at a sandwich counter, she’d pay for their meal.

Basically, Georgette was a good egg and through The Hollywood Canteen she soon amassed a whole network of soldiers she helped, dated and befriended.

The night of her death was no different, with Georgette meeting two very different servicemen. The first was an overbearing young solider. He followed Georgette around during her shift at The Hollywood Canteen, insisting she dance with him. Even when she obliged he continued to cut in on her work all night, arguing he needed anouther dance.

By the end of her shift, Georgette managed to shake the arse hole off and hopped in her car. That’s when she met serviceman 2; he seemed lost so Georgette pulled over and offered him a lift.

The man later reported that she seemed skittish and scared during the drive. This guy wasn’t the only one who thought Georgette seemed scared; earlier that night she begged a fellow junior hostess to sleep over, but refused to say why.

So what happened? Well, investigators thought it likely that Georgette knew her killer. With most of the men in her life from The Hollywood Canteen, perhaps someone followed her home? Maybe an ex came back to town or she’d been arranging an after work secret date.

Georgettes case remains open, but with any leads long gone, it’s very unlikely this Hollywood mystery will ever be solved. 

Ok, that was all the bleak.

Let’s end things on a more positive note, with the story of one of Georgettes fellow Junior Hostesses:

Florida Edwards.

In 1942, Florida suffered a nasty Jitterbug injury (yes, apparently that was a thing in the 40s). Whilst jitterbugging with a marine, she was thrown across the room, landing on her spine and leaving her bedridden and unable to take on work for a month.

Flordia felt that that the Canteen hadn’t looked out for her wellbeing. The floor had been slippery and during the unfortunate jitterbug she called for help, but nobody came… and so she was going to sue their sorry arses for $17,250!

Because Floridas coming for all your tap shoes!

Flordia took the stand and explained that she was iky (if you’re not hip to jive, that means: ‘I don’t like to do jive dancing’) , saying:

‘Jitterbugging is a very peculiar dance. Personally I don’t like it. It reminds me of the jungle antics of natives.’

Once she’d finished throwing in some casual racism, Florida went on to explain that when the Marine asked her to Jitterbug she had refused, instead standing stock still.

The Marine apparently took this is a firm ‘yes’ and threw Florida around the room, finally propelling her into an almighty (and soon to be catastrophic) spin, from which there was no coming back.

Fellow Hollywood Canteen worker, Luise Walker, backed Florida up and explained that in a spin like that, no dancer could have controlled her landing.

The Hollywood Canteen were having none of this and actually bought in a ‘jive expert’, Connie Roberts, to demonstrate how safe jitterbugging was. Connie had a partner throw her across the court in a dangerous spin to prove how much control a woman had in the landing:Despite dancing evidence, the judge sided with Florida, mainly on the grounds that after everything he had seen, he felt that jitterbugging was a:

 ‘weird dance of obscure origins’

Florida was awarded $8170 (which in todays money isn’t enough to buy a house –damn you economy! – but is enough to have a lot of fun with…or I don’t know, invest wisely or whatever)

Case finished, Florida went outside the court to meet the press, where she pulled this amazing face:

Hero. 

This was really interesting where can I find out more? Well, theres a great book on The Hollywood Canteen called (get ready for the worlds longest title): ‘The Hollywood Canteen: Where the Greatest Generation Danced With the Most Beautiful Girls in the World’

If you’re after something shorter I suggest checking out amazing podcast, You Must Remember This, it’s all about Hollywood History and is one of my favourite things.

Theres a great episode on the canteen called: ‘Star Wars Episode 1: Bette Davis and The Hollywood Canteen.’ (this is actually part of a series called Star Wars, looking at how Hollywood dealt with WW2, its great, go binge listen!)

The death of Marilyn – bought to you by the male gaze!

 

In 36 years Marilyn Monroe achieved a kind of fame that had never been seen before. Gone was Norma Jean and in her place was the myth of Marilyn Monroe; unprecedented, unparalleled and unbreakable.

Seriously, even death couldn’t stop the juggernaut that was Monroe!

It’s now 55 years on from her death and Marilyn’s finger prints are still all over our everyday life, from lipstick lines to shitty faux inspirational Facebook quote posts. But Marilyn’s impact is so much more than that!!

You see, Marilyn’s legacy is bigger than you, me, or her….it’s what it is to be a woman.

The Marilyn Meat Market

Marilyn Monroe died at home on the 5^th August 1962. Immediately paparazzi swarmed her house, desperate to get that hot body bag shot – now I’m not saying Paps are scum bags…but here’s what one was over heard saying:

‘I’m just as sorry as the next fellow about Marilyn Monroe. But as long as she had to do it, what a break she did it in August.’ 

Oh cool, so you’re the biggest wanker ever then. via giphy

But this wasn’t new…Marilyn had always been free game. After arriving in Hollywood, she posed naked for $50, with the understanding the pictures would never be printed (and that she now had money to eat- hooray!)

Flash forward to 1953; the nudes are sold without Marilyn’s knowledge to one Hugh Hefner, who uses them to launch his new magazine Playboy… Classy.

But it wasn’t just Mr Hefner skeezing it up, incredibly explicit pictures of Marilyn –obvs taken without her permission – were not rare. Photographers tried to get up the skirt shots all the time!

Even the most iconic image of Marilyn, was a cheap paparazzi photo op.

Not a still from The Seven Year Itch, but a publicity op for punters to get a shot up Marilyn’s skirt (see creep with a camera behind…)

As Marilyn put it:

“My popularity seems almost entirely a masculine phenomenon.”

And it was. Unlike other female stars of the era, most of Marilyn’s media cuttings came directly from men. Similarly, the majority of books written about her have male authors.

The most obvious reason for this would be the kind of woman that Marilyn portrayed. A breathy mix of woman and child; malleable and rescue-able in equal measure.

Perhaps its this lack of on screen autonomy that is the reason that the media took so many more liberties with Marilyn than they did with her peers.. and 55 years on from her death, they continue to do so!

Those naked Playboy pictures still get paraded about every time Playboy has an anniversary. Private photos of Marilyn constantly go up for auction (to then be featured in celeb gossip magazines)

AND in February 2017 tabloids reached never before seen heights of bullshittery when they released images that ‘proved’ a woman who had been dead for 50+ years, had at some point possibly been ‘secretly pregnant’.

Actual Daily Mail headline…

As with any tabloid starlet, it’s Marilyn’s body that she is most known for. With journalists in both 1950’s America and 2017’s America desperate to know just how she gets that body (see an August 2017 Buzzfeed piece which tests modern audiences against Marilyn’s daily routine, as told by a 1952 magazine.)

But why are we still so obsessed with Marilyn’s ass, tits and well….more.

I didn’t even know neck measurements were a thing..

Well two key reasons:

• Marilyn was crazy beautiful!

• Marilyn died crazy young!

Really, Marilyn’s story is one as old as Hollywood: Beautiful woman. Dies young. Sad times all around. The end right?

Well…no. See Marilyn’s death is different. Because much like her life, it was made to revolve around men

Thats right, I’m about to get on my little feminism high horse!  

As with much of the literature we have on her life, the majority of writing on Marilyn’s death was written by men. Most of her obituaries were written by men (focusing on her sexuality, emotional damage, female form and love life) and the majority of theories surrounding her death are too written by men!

Here are just a few of the common theories around why/how Marilyn died:

• Assassinated by John F Kennedy
• Assassinated by Bobby Kennedy
• Killed by the CIA/FBI to pressurize the Kennedys
• Murdered by the CIA because Marilyn knew the truth about aliens!!!

Bar the whole aliens thing (and the obvious fact that Marilyn died from an overdose and none of the above…) all the prominent theories surrounding Marilyn’s death revolve around her relationships with men and her role as a sex bomb (literally in this case…)

These theories work to fit Marilyn into a specific narrative, emphasising her tragic femininity and sexual willingness.

Basically… it’s the plot of a film noir; attractive but damaged dame gets killed because she had sex with the wrong guy.

Same. But stay with me, it gets less bleak!

It seems strange that a figure so integral to how we see femininity, wasn’t addressed by women. But don’t worry, thats all changing!

In 1986, Glora Stienham released a biography, Marilyn, re-exmaining how we see Ms Monroe.

From there, it’s only been up and up. There’s been a huge turn in how historians view Marilyn and in the last 20 years more Marilyn books books than ever have been written by women. Huuuuuuge win!!

Thats right Hermione! More books to read!!! 

So what can we expect to see in this brave new dawn of Marilyn’s tale? 

Well expect more research into Marilyn’s political views (…aside from which Kennedy brother was hotter…le sigh)

Marilyn’s political views really let her working class roots shine through. She was a founding member of the Committee for a Sane Nuclear Policy and an elected member of the liberal caucus.

She was also open about her support of communism in Cuba and to be honest it is a bloody wonder she wasn’t bought up on that!!

Not only this, but Marilyn was an ardent supporter of civil rights.

She personally fought for Ella Fitzgerald to perform at whites only hot spot, The Morecambe Club. Arguing that Ella be allowed a regular spot and offering to sit front row for each performance (bringing the club and Ella tons of publicity!)

Ella personally credited this with getting her out of small time jazz clubs and getting her career in the mainstream. The two women remained friends until Marilyn’s death.

Ella and Marilyn at The Morecambe Club

We’ve barley scratched the surface of who history’s most infamous blonde bombshell was, and I know I can’t wait to find out more!

This was really interesting, where can I find out more? Theres tons of really cracking books, but I’d suggest checking out Gloria Stienham’s book, Marilyn (she also has a couple of online essays on Marilyn that you can read for free!)

Now if you will excuse me…

The Baddest Queer Bitches in History

It’s Pride Season and we’ve already started planning our outfit for London & Brighton Pride (hint… RAINBOW-LEOPARD PRINT-GLITTER) SO lets celebrate everything LGBTQ+! To kick things off here are some of our favourite queer ladies.

Sappho

Sappho with Erena – Simeon Solomon

You cannot start a list about history’s greatest queers without mentioning Sappho. She was a Greek poet who lived on the Island of Lesbos (sign me up) around 615 B.C. Sappho wrote about her love for many a woman and was one of the highest regarded poets of her lifetime.

Sorry,…Mrs Fancy Pants         Via Giphy

Plato called her ‘The Tenth Muse’ which was a massive compliment at the time. The other nine muses were the Greek Goddesses of Art & Science; so he thought Sappho was a pretty big deal.

There’s an argument between historian’s as to if Sappho did have relationships with women or if her poetry was just about her dearest ‘gal pals’. Only fragments of her poems survive and since she lived a really fecking long time ago we can’t ask her.

Personally I think her poems evoke a deep sense of love and sexual longing for her female subjects that goes way beyond the ‘female admiration’ lots of male historians like to think Sappho had for platonic pals.

Presented without comment… Via Giphy

See what you think for yourself. Here’s an extract from Sappho 94 translated by Julia Dubnoff:

“For by my side you put on

many wreaths of roses

and garlands of flowers

around your soft neck.

And with precious and royal perfume

you anointed yourself.

On soft beds you satisfied your passion.”

……HELLA GAY!

So so so gay.

Later history mocked and destroyed her work. It was denounced by the church and was ridiculed by poets and playwrights who wrote her off as a sexual deviant or a tragic character. But finally our girl is getting her rep back!

Sappho is the mother of lesbians and her influence cannot be argued with.

Mabel Hampton

Mabel was a staunch activist and LGBT+ historian, she was instrumental in recording and preserving queer history, especially the experience of living as a gay, black woman in America during periods of huge upheaval.

Hell… Mabel IS the reason we know so much now. The Lesbian Herstory Archives in New York are full to the brim thanks to Mabel. She was a bit of a hoarder.

Yikes! Via Giphy

She had a pretty tragic upbringing, her Mum died not long after giving birth to her and her Grandmother followed a few years later. She was raised by an abusive Aunt & Uncle before deciding ‘Fuck this, I’ve had enough’

She moved to Harlem and worked as a dancer during the Harlem Renaissance (see our blog post on this INCREDIBLE movement.) And she was a regular at Harlem drag balls; an early celebration of queer black identities during the roaring 20’s.

She left showbiz and started work as a cleaning lady. When asked why she left behind the glitz and glamour she famously answered

‘Because I like to eat.’

I have never related to a statement this hard.

Fo realzies. Via Giphy

Mabel publicly declared herself as a lesbian during a time when being black alone made you heavily persecuted, but gay too?! THE LADY WAS BRAVE!

She met her partner Lillian Foster at a bus stop in 1932 describing her as: ‘dressed like a duchess’. They were together until Foster’s death in 1978. Serious relationship goals.

Mabel and Lillian spent their lives documenting their experiences as a lesbian couple. They helped set up the Lesbian Herstory Archives and Mabel & Lillian donated hundreds of newspaper clippings, gay books, photographs and other paraphernalia to the archives.

Mabel gave a speech at the New York Pride Parade in 1984 stating to the crowds

‘I, Mabel Hampton, have been a lesbian all my life, for 82 years, and I am proud of my people. I would like all my people to be free in this country and all over the world, my gay people and my black people.’

She was incredible. We were lucky to have her.

Anne Lister

Possibly our fave on this list, Anne (born in 1791) was seriously rich…like MTV Cribs level minted. Her family owned a bunch of land in Halifax, West Yorkshire and they were desperate to marry her off to some rich oik to keep that money rolling in. ANNE WAS HAVING NONE OF IT!

She inherited fancy country house Shibden Hall from her uncle, immediately built herself a posh new library and decided to live openly with another super rich babe Ann Walker. She’s lucky Ann came along when she did because the money was running out at that point.

Via Giphy

She was known locally as ‘Gentleman Jack’ for the way she dressed in male clothing. She tended to wear sensible black jakets, with no frilly business. Our girl was a Georgian butch. She kept coded diaries which tell us pretty plainly that Anne was very definitely a lesbian.

‘I love & only love the fairer sex & thus beloved by them in turn, my heart revolts from any other love than theirs.’

Her diaries were coded, she thought we’d never crack it, but thank feck we did because these diaries are SO JUICY! Anne had mad game and went through a lot of high societies ladies.

Here are some of our fave snippets

‘But I mean to amend at five & thirty & retire with credit. I shall have a good fling before then. Four years. And in the meantime I shall make my avenae communes, my wild oats common. I shall domiciliate then.’

So she wanted life to be like a big gay 18-30 holiday. Can’t argue with that.

Same. Via Giphy

‘I begin to despair that M- & I will ever get together. Besides I sometimes fancy she will be worn out in the don’s service & perhaps I may do better.’

M was Mariana Lawton, who was the love of Anne’s life. She married a rich old dude, which devastated Anne as she wanted to live with M as her partner. Their affair carried on for a while after the marriage, but it fizzled out a few years later.

Much of the info we have on Anne’s diaries is from Helena Whitbread, another incredible woman working to preserve lesbian history. THANK YOU HELENA!

Marlene Dietrich

Marlene is one of my favourite old Hollywood starlets. This German had a mind like a razor and cheekbones to match, plus she looked fucking amazing in a suit.

She made androgynous dress sexy and alluring. Up till this time most women dressing as drag kings was done very much for laughs or in the sanctity of queer spaces underground. Marlene brought it to the mainstream.

YASSSSSSSS BISSSSSSSSH!         Via Giphy

Dietrich was a German silent film actor in the 20’s before moving into talkies and raking it in with her ‘exotic’ looks and fabulous accent. During this time period the gay scene in Berlin was happening, hip, where it’s at etc.

Marlene bloody loved a drag ball, as she was openly bisexual, and could frolic with all the young ladies she could get her hands on. At these parties she learnt how to rock the fuck out of a three piece suit.

In the late 20’s/early 30’s she got her big break in Hollywood films where she usually played a sexy cabaret singer of some kind. In one of her most famous films, Morocco, (where she plays a sexy cabaret singer) Marlene dresses in a fancy very masculine top hat and tails suit (PHWOR!) during one of her numbers and at the end sneaks in a kiss with a young lady! SCANDAL!

She kissed a girl AND she liked it. Via Giphy

She just about got away with it because American’s assume us Europeans are a passionate and sexually charged lot.

This theme of taking on masculine traits was something she embraced with gusto, training as a boxer in a sweaty gym in Berlin owned by a Turkish prizefighter. She enjoyed boxing and followed the sport throughout her life.

Marlene was known to have a network of Hollywood starlets she had affairs with, she referenced this overlapping group as Marlene’s Sewing Circle. I’m going to sew this onto my biker jacket right now.

Later in life she said some stupid shit (women’s lib was ‘penis envy’…) so she’s a pretty problematic favourite. But she was a real pioneer. Drag Kings and androgens owe her a debt of thanks.

Billie Holiday

The Lady of the Blues is one of the most recognisable voices in the world. Billie had a tragic and abusive upbringing after which she then spent most of her adult life battling a serious addiction to drugs and alcohol.

Billie had relationships with many women but her most well known was with actress Tallulah Bankhead. It was a volatile relationship which was always on again, then off again, THEN ON. We’ve all been there.

PREACH! Via Giphy

While Tallulah was starring in Noel Coward’s Private Lives on Broadway Billie had a contract singing in New York’s Strand Theatre. Tallulah would sneak in and watch Billie performing after her show finished. That’s sweet innit?

However the breakup went bad. Billie was arrested for opium possession and Bankhurst bailed her out, then got her into therapy. They parted ways soon afterwards, but things did not stay civil.

Stay down bitch! Via Giphy

Billie was working on her memoirs, which included mentioning her friendship with Bankhead, but Talullah maintained she’d never even met Holiday (despite lots of evidence to the contrary) and she sent a letter to Billie’s publishers threatening to sue unless she was taken out of it.

Billie sent back an amazingly shitty letter to Bankhead reminding her that she had people around who could back up her story and she wrote-

‘And if you want to get shitty, we can make it a big shitty party. We can all get funky together!’

Mic drop. Holiday out.

BOOOOOOOOM! Via Giphy

So that’s some of our fave historical queer ladies.

We’ll be doing more posts on LGBTQ+ history during Pride season, we’ve got Marsha P Johnson & the Stonewall riots up next week!

Who do you want us to write about?!

Answers on a post card…or in the comments.

Alternatively gives us a shout on the F Yeah History Twitter and Facebook 

Sara Westrop is passionate about making history accessible (and fun!) for everyone. A disabled, queer writer from just outside London, who loves writing about the unsung chapters of history.